Marriage Restoration And Forgiveness
I hear so many people talk poorly of the “other person,” and I must urge you, brothers and sister, to stop this immediately. Some of you have made the wrong person your enemy. You believe it’s the other person’s fault that your spouse is gone. The truth is God seen something inside your spouse that was growing darker each day. The once soft heart was beginning to harden. If not the person they are with now, the enemy would have brought anyone else to do his bidding.
Ephesians 4:18 They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart.
First comes the hard heart, and then they are darkened in their understanding. This leads to a total alienation of God! I take 100% responsibility for not leading my wife in prayer, taking her to church, reading daily devotionals, and placing the whole armor of God on daily. Instead, I was focused on smoking marijuana, my work, and everything but keeping my marriage under God’s protection. My wife had her issues with me, and I chose to ignore them until her heart became hardened.
We were not in fellowship. Had I lead my family to church and fellowship, my wife may have confessed her problems to another woman from church, and our marriage may have been saved. But, instead, she concealed her problems and sinful thoughts until her heart became hard as stone.
Proverbs 28:13-14 Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy. Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.
In this case, the calamity was a destroyed family and marriage. She later moved out into a new home, and the house caught fire and burnt down. God’s word never lies, my friends! As the man, I take 100% responsibility for not leading my family and fellowshipping with other believers.
Who Are The Enemies If Not The Other Person?
I believe there are two very different types of enemies: those we can see and those who we can not see.
Human Enemies: Those who lead us away from God’s purpose.
Spiritual Enemies: The force empowering all evil in all things
We are taught how to deal with human enemies in Luke.
“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
These are the enemy’s that the spiritual beings (the real power source) will use to achieve their purpose. They are under the control of the evil one, and we are called to love them, show mercy and compassion and even pray for them to be delivered. They are the pawns of the chess tournament we call life.
Our Actual Enemies
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
We are not actually at war with humans. We are at war with principalities, against the powers of darkness, and against the devil himself, who is called the prince of this world. These enemies, we show absolutely no mercy for! This is where we go to war!
The Trap Satan Uses To Keep You From Victory
And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”
I have studied Spiritual Warfare for a reasonable period of my life, and in the process of people being delivered from evil spirits, there is one thing they must always do. They must forgive all people in their lives or give those Spirits legal rights to work in their lives. But, unfortunately, the enemy has power over those who hold onto bitterness and unforgiveness.
Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Psalm 32:5 I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah
If you notice, there is a difference between iniquity and sin. So King David says, “and you forgave the iniquity of my sin.” After researching why this is made different in King Davids’s writings, I decided to seek the Hebrew meaning.
The Hebrew word “Avon” is a Masculine Noun and means: guilt or punishment for iniquity. So we can see that he is saying, you forgave the PUNISHMENT of my sins. We know that unforgiveness is sin; it’s a sin that comes with punishment and allows the enemy legal rights to gain access into your life. To hold onto bitterness is to enable the enemy to work in your life. What does the enemy do with his legal rights?
John 10:10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.
I believe that unforgiveness towards your spouse or the other person allows the enemy to STEAL, KILL and DESTROY your miracle. If you want to remove his rights and take back what God has promised to give, you must forgive all people of all things in your life.
I’m going to confess something to you. I love the OM! I love him, pray for him, and want the absolute best for his life as his brother in Christ. I want to see him find his calling and be used by God to impact the world and bring Glory to the Father! I believe that by praying for him and loving him, God will work in his life and lead him to his path. But, I also think that if I’m angry with him, have bitterness, jealousy, and unforgiveness that I’m only assisting him as he’s lost in sin. We must love our human enemies!
Let us pray
Father, I lift up (OTHER PERSONS NAME) to you today and pray for your kindness to lead them to repentance. I pray for your grace to grab hold of their heart and guide them back to your will. Would you please bless them with your Holy Presence and guide them away from the path they are on? I love them, forgive them, and believe you want what’s best for them today! Father, please forgive me for any bitterness, jealousy, anger, or unforgiveness I have held in my heart for so long. Teach me to love even my enemies and always want the best for all people. I forgive them for what they have done and pray that you will have mercy and forgive me for what I have held onto for so long. Please release me from any legal rights I have given to the enemy with my attitude and bless me with your grace today. In Jesus’s name, I pray, amen.
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